![]() It’s the unfamiliar pleasure of being forced backwards in a shooter. It’s the knowledge of the skill needed to circle-strafe a cluster of attacking Kleer Skeletons, and timing your shot so that a Beheaded Kamikaze takes out five of his rocketeer brethren. It’s the joy of movement, the thrill of dodging a Biomechanoid’s pulse laser while blowing away several Beheaded Rocketeers with a single shotgun blast. It’s an understanding of what the FPS has been missing during its five-or-so years cowering behind a conveniently placed waist-high wall. Yet her words make me realise something, and as I yank the head off a pouncing Kleer Skeleton there descends certain clarity amid the sheer madness of it all. “There is no cover, it’s Serious Sam!” I scream back. Over my shoulder, my fiancée is watching. And above the sounds of the ensuing battle, the shrill wail of scores of Beheaded Kamikaze reverberates through my skull. Soldiers, Beheaded Rocketeers, Kleer Skeletons, Arachnoids, Biomechanoids, even a huge flying squidcopter thing that drains my lifeblood quicker than an obese vampire. In an open square of desert littered with palm trees, the game throws everything at me. The second level is more familiar territory for Sam, a wild Egyptian desert, pock-marked with sandblasted villages, the Great Pyramids looming in the background. Yet it’s only when I reach that second level, that I realise my earlier words about things kicking off were naïve. That, and I’m only halfway through the first level, and there are two more that await my attention in this preview code. It’s a pretty good sign that I’m already cackling gleefully as I batter my way through my first true horde of adversaries, and the game hasn’t even given me a gun yet. Suddenly there’s a multitude of aliens all just dying to meet my hammery friend. It’s around this point that things start to kick off. I dodge the blocks of concrete as the building collapses in a pile of dust. There is a blinding light and a deafening blast, and suddenly there’s a gaping hole in the building, and tonnes of rubble is hurtling in my direction. Then the air shimmers, and a huge alien spacecraft appears over a building at the end of the road. I work my way through the alley and down a road, introducing a few more Gnaar and a lone Beheaded Rocketeer. There’s a “thshtick” noise as the Gnaar is pummelled flat, spraying its scarlet life juices in all directions. I wait until my screen is full of Gnaar, then I click the left mouse button, bringing the sledgehammer crashing down onto the Gnaar’s huge brow. Fifty feet ahead another Gnaar gallops around a corner and thunders toward me. I pick my way down to street level, stepping out into an alleyway. “Give me some skulls and one of these, and it’s a party,” he growls. On the screen in front of me, Sam shares my enthusiasm. They know what you want, and they’re going to let you have it. As I am soon to learn, this isn’t because Croteam are attempting some misguided new direction for the third game. Normally I’d have killed at least thirty enemies by now. And yet it’s an oddly reserved start for a Serious Sam game. Sam’s sledgehammer is a contender for gaming’s splatteryest weapon I casually tear its eye out, splattering the harsh white surrounding with viscous red blood. ![]() That is until I turn the first corner, whereupon a squat, one-eyed Gnaar clambers onto the rooftop and charges at me. My surroundings certainly have a similar vibe, the colour scheme and the extensive cityscape wreathed with destruction could quite possibly have been taken from the Alpha Code of DICE’s upcoming shooter. My initial thoughts are “Am I playing Battlefield 3?” It vanishes behind the urban skyline, and I am alone. In the distance a helicopter spins wildly amid a sea of cracked, whitewashed skyscrapers, its tail rotors billowing smoke. I’m stood on the roof of a tall building.
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